It is chilling that someone who behaved that way has ostensibly devoted her life to service. Having sexual attraction to the same sex is no one's fault and likely has been there since birth.The scare quotes around “sex-positive” to describe that therapist are apt. Some gay men believe that being married can rid them of their homosexuality. The wife has not been inadequate in any way and likely the gay husband married her because he truly cared about her. What's important to remember is that the husband's homosexuality is entirely his responsibility and has nothing to do with the wife. (If you're thinking that you can cure the gay by having your husband go to gay conversion therapy, read this.)
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If it turns out that a husband is, in fact, gay, the fallout can be difficult to deal with, particularly for the straight partner. Kaye advises that women "follow their instincts" when deciding whether their husband may be gay. These signs of a gay husband are designed as a starting point. A husband may be gay and display none of those signs or a husband may display these signs and not be gay. These signs a husband is gay are not meant to be definitive.
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In many cases, it is the wife, who after suspecting that something is wrong, must confront the gay husband with the evidence, and only then can honestly be achieved.īut if you're wondering, "Is my man gay," it might be helpful to know that there are signs to look for, according to Kaye. Unfortunately, it is estimated that 50% of gay husbands hide their homosexuality from their wives and don't reach this place of honesty on their own.
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If the husband is honest with both you and with himself (read: How Do I Know If I Am Gay? Signs You Are Gay), that is when you can truly know that he is gay. The clearest way to know if your husband is gay is if he tells you. If a husband is gay, it can devastate not only the relationship but the straight wife as well. Sometimes a woman may have been in a heterosexual relationship for years and yet feel something is somehow "off " and she may find herself asking, "Is my husband gay?" Many women find this question unthinkable but according to Bonnie Kaye, M.ED., an expert in women married to gay men, it is estimated that 4 million women have been, or are, married to gay men.